chanel-smokes:

omg i love her

sschol:

georgewbushofficial:

imagine getting drafted into war and seeing your internet buddy there

"holy shit, is that you, bongfucker666?"

hellgated:

karaokeandmime:

dennys:

Some Denny’s booths you enter and enjoy a nice meal, others you enter and travel magnificent distances through space and time….

Denny’s what the hell

hellgated:

karaokeandmime:

dennys:

Some Denny’s booths you enter and enjoy a nice meal, others you enter and travel magnificent distances through space and time….

Denny’s what the hell

autieblesam:

averagebare:

fuck dating girls who are “naturally pretty.” date girls who are supernaturally pretty. date a hot ass ghost. date a fucking alien 

Date a lizard woman from the dawn of time.

fuck-benedict:

new favourite insults:

  • absolute bagel
  • useless paperclip
  • first bread slice
  • yellow marker that was used to colour over something dark and now colours a really distressing muddy yellowish-brown
  • tangled headphone cord
  • ketchup pre-cum
Person: How are you feeling today?
Virginia Woolf: Again, my mind vibrates uncomfortably as it always does. Actually, I am overwhelmed with things I ought to have written about and never found the proper words. I do not let myself think. This is a fact. I cannot face much of the meaning. Shut my mind to anything but work and bowls. And I wonder as I let the month run through my fingers: Can I get out of it? Out of it all? Truth is, I feel all shadows of the universe multiplied deep inside my skin. (Isn't it all dust and ashes?) I am impressed by the transitoriness of human life to such an extent that I am often saying a farewell…and my heart currently resembles the ashes of my cigarettes; In fact, I'm in the mood to dissolve into the sky brb

littlemsmusicaddict:

shnuffeluv:

iwillloveyouuntilweareburied:

britishvevo:

whorification:

tonguesandquietsighs:

luc-sywalker:

allissameows:

spamberguesa:

ernest-lancaster:

My car says “I’m poor as shit so I’ll take what I can get.” Nevertheless, I love my little baby. I’ve had it since high school, and I call it the Tomato Mobile, because it’s about the same color as a tomato. I went to a friend’s wedding a couple years ago, and ran into some people I hadn’t seen since high school. Two of them said, rather incredulously, “You’re still driving the Tomato?” Nice to know my little car made an impression.

ditto. except my car is a pumpkin, not tomato

That’s for damn sure.

My car’s just a French heap of shit and I hate it.

At least you fuckers have cars. Be grateful you can afford it next time you’re driving somewhere in the pouring rain and you see someone trudging along soaked to the skin and shivering because they can’t afford a car.

any funny or interesting post on this website will guarantee one person bitching or whinging about it

lol my car is a cherry

and I’m not even old enough to drive. even if I was, there are hundreds of dollars to pay for driver’s ed, hours of practice and more hundreds of dollars to even get a USED car…

*sigh* …15 and feeling down

My car is the same shade of green as dying grass.

genocidercyo:

clockey:

you’re the window to my wall

you’re the sweat that drips down my balls

akingsword:

*logs out of twitter for 52 years* 

akingsword:

*logs out of twitter for 52 years* 

andrewbelami:

prasejeebus:

These jokes are getting out of hand

goodbye

andrewbelami:

prasejeebus:

These jokes are getting out of hand

goodbye

joshsux:

Do you ever just jiggle your butt

ursulatheseabitchh:

ohsoswiftly:

Reacting to Blue Ivy

Lorde looks like an alien who is desperately trying to replicate human emotion so her cover isn’t blown.